...of girls and cannibalism

Girls..... could you please leave my boys alone. It was a sweltering June day here in SWVA. The sun was high in the sky and you could feel the humidity like molasses in your lungs. The sea of people moved to the rhythm of the music. (The music sounded like someone was stabbing a knife into my ear and twisting it but.....) It was a beautiful day. As I pushed the double stroller through the crowds with 8 of my guys behind me. I saw a glimpse of her first behind a tree. I didn't think much of it until I saw her again by the bouncy things. She came out into the open to reveal herself to him. She had short shorts on, you know the kind that reveal your whole hind end? and a shirt so tight I think it would have fit one of the twins. OH AND HER BOOBS ( the kind of boobs that are made courtesy of the hormones in all of the meat we eat) were spilling out of said top. As she stood there she adjusted herself to show her best assets. Then it happened, she slithered her way over toward my son. Like a snake about to devour it's prey. As he helped his brother onto the bouncy house she stood behind him waiting for him to turn around. I called my son to my side. In his absence she went running to her friends. Hoping to NEVER see her again I let my boy go back to help. Fast forward 25 minutes. One of her drones came up to my son and asked " do you have a girlfriend"? He said "no". As she went back to her "crowd" they all giggled and looked our way. The boy was confused, he had never had a girl be so forward with him before. I then whispered in his ear...... Moments later the girls came back to him and said" do you want to go out with my friend over there?" He said, "go where?" I laughed. She then said," do you want to be her boyfriend?" He said, "no" and then he said it.... My mom eats girls like you for breakfast. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! They never came back by us after that. Girls, stay away from my sons, I am trying to stick to a whole foods diet and you just don't quit fit into it. Oh and cannibalism is still frowned upon in our society.